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how do I know that I love you?
whenever I listen to music/watch a movie/go out with friends/have a meal/talk to someone/or just stare into space, thoughts of you fill my mind and grips my heart, making me miss and ache for you.
that's how I know that you mean so much to me.
you were one of the closest people I had. we shared secrets, memories, and even a fair share of gossips. but thinking back on what we had, tbh it was quite superficial wasn't it? there were many times that I wasn't happy in this friendship - you put me down many times and I felt as if it was always a competition to you. it's almost as if we were just great frenimes. in a way, I believe that there were many times that we did genuinely cared for each other, but it was always when we were alone together. when it was just the two of us, only then I felt that you could finally lower your guard and treat me as a true friend. you were there for me, but part of me wonders if all that was so that you could be aware about my happenings in life so that you could take comfort in knowing that on the other hand, whenever there were people around, I felt as if you had to constantly prove to others that you were more superior than me.



I feel like I am back to where I was again,
A few years back.
That feeling of just living the the present,
Not giving a care in the world as to what the future holds.
I just want to relax and shrug off all worries,
Unaware of the consequences.

But the guilt is eating me alive.
The responsibility of having to perform well,
The duty of being a good girl,
I can't do it anymore.

I'm just not who you think I am


"For all that I have done to you,
I wish that I could make it right.
I'm sorry that I loved you,
I'm sorry that I needed you,
I'm sorry that I held you tight."

The biggest regret was letting you fall for me.
But the greatest happiness was falling for you.
You were one of the best things that have happened to me.
Thank you for all those times
Thank you for all the memories,
Thank you for your love.
At least I know that what we had was real.
Thanks to you, I have loved.

You will always be my Superman


I am so confused about everything,
About my future, my feelings,
About what I really want.

I have understood things,
Through other people's lives,
Through their choices and mistakes.
But the biggest of them all,
Is through living my own life,
Through my own choices and my own mistakes.

I want to change my life,
Break free from what I have been going through.
I have worked hard for what I want,
For the life I wish to lead.

I know I am a really selfish person,
I think about myself and my own feelings above everything else.
I've even done things that I am really not proud of,
I never thought I would turn out to be quite an asshole.

I'm sorry if I have hurt you,
I'm sorry if I have used you,
I'm sorry if I have played you.

I'm just, trying to figure things out.
I'm afraid of what the future will bring. I'm afraid of the uncertainty, the distance. I feel that what ever happens, it'll never be like how it was again. I'm afraid of losing what I have. Am I just wasting my time right now?

I finally understood the meaning of "Right person but at the wrong time". I'm far too young, too reckless, too naive. If I had a choice, I wish I hadn't known you. I wish that we could meet in the future where things are certain. I wish I could meet you then and fall in love, where I know for sure our future.

  

- Across the clear skies, Among the glowing stars, That's where I'll find us.

how do I know that I love you?
whenever I listen to music/watch a movie/go out with friends/have a meal/talk to someone/or just stare into space, thoughts of you fill my mind and grips my heart, making me miss and ache for you.
that's how I know that you mean so much to me. you were one of the closest people I had. we shared secrets, memories, and even a fair share of gossips. but thinking back on what we had, tbh it was quite superficial wasn't it? there were many times that I wasn't happy in this friendship - you put me down many times and I felt as if it was always a competition to you. it's almost as if we were just great frenimes. in a way, I believe that there were many times that we did genuinely cared for each other, but it was always when we were alone together. when it was just the two of us, only then I felt that you could finally lower your guard and treat me as a true friend. you were there for me, but part of me wonders if all that was so that you could be aware about my happenings in life so that you could take comfort in knowing that on the other hand, whenever there were people around, I felt as if you had to constantly prove to others that you were more superior than me.


I feel like I am back to where I was again,
A few years back.
That feeling of just living the the present,
Not giving a care in the world as to what the future holds.
I just want to relax and shrug off all worries,
Unaware of the consequences.

But the guilt is eating me alive.
The responsibility of having to perform well,
The duty of being a good girl,
I can't do it anymore.

I'm just not who you think I am

"For all that I have done to you,
I wish that I could make it right.
I'm sorry that I loved you,
I'm sorry that I needed you,
I'm sorry that I held you tight."

The biggest regret was letting you fall for me.
But the greatest happiness was falling for you.
You were one of the best things that have happened to me.
Thank you for all those times
Thank you for all the memories,
Thank you for your love.
At least I know that what we had was real.
Thanks to you, I have loved.

You will always be my Superman

I am so confused about everything,
About my future, my feelings,
About what I really want.

I have understood things,
Through other people's lives,
Through their choices and mistakes.
But the biggest of them all,
Is through living my own life,
Through my own choices and my own mistakes.

I want to change my life,
Break free from what I have been going through.
I have worked hard for what I want,
For the life I wish to lead.

I know I am a really selfish person,
I think about myself and my own feelings above everything else.
I've even done things that I am really not proud of,
I never thought I would turn out to be quite an asshole.

I'm sorry if I have hurt you,
I'm sorry if I have used you,
I'm sorry if I have played you.

I'm just, trying to figure things out. I'm afraid of what the future will bring. I'm afraid of the uncertainty, the distance. I feel that what ever happens, it'll never be like how it was again. I'm afraid of losing what I have. Am I just wasting my time right now?

I finally understood the meaning of "Right person but at the wrong time". I'm far too young, too reckless, too naive. If I had a choice, I wish I hadn't known you. I wish that we could meet in the future where things are certain. I wish I could meet you then and fall in love, where I know for sure our future.

  

- Across the clear skies, Among the glowing stars, That's where I'll find us.